Our Insulated Lives

Memorial Day, 2009 – As I sit in my recliner in my air-conditioned home looking through the glass sliding doors on to my back yard watching the rain come down, I think the time has come for a little bit of self-examination. Just to the right of the glass doors stands my “entertainment center’ where my flat-screen television quietly waits to provide me with “entertainment” from my digital cable, my DVD player, my Blu-Ray player, or my Wii. To the left of the glass doors is one of two built-in bookcases that frame the massive corner fireplace that warms my home anytime I desire, but is not necessary since all I really have to do is turn on the central heat. On the bookcases are color photos of loved ones, small ceramic pots and urns. Oh yeah, there are books on the shelves as well. Books of all types and sizes and at least three different translations of The Bible.

Just like the rest of my home, my “living room” is dry, comfortable and safe just as is Magee, my favorite dog, who is currently sacked out on the couch next to my chair. She raises her head as my wife passes through. She is curious to know if Pam is headed to the treat cabinet that holds her favorite treat, meat-stuffed rawhide. Her ears perk up as Pam opens the fridge but when the familiar crinkle of plastic that might indicate other potential “treats” isn’t heard, she turns to look out into the yard pretending that she really doesn’t care. But she waits until Pam returns and sits in her own recliner before giving up hope and lays her head back down and with a sigh dozes back off to dream the dreams that dogs dream. Later, Magee will give me even less attention as I rise to take advantage of one of the multiple in-door plumbing facilities scattered through-out my home. Apparently, she is acutely aware that there are no treats stored in those places and her feined interest wanes even faster with me than it did with Pam.

It is in this safe and comfortable place on Memorial Day that the reality of our “insulated lives” strikes me hard. For several weeks while preparing for a Memorial Day Special radio show, I have been thinking along the lines of how insulated everyone is from the harsh and cold realities of the world.  It is not for me to wonder about the fairness or unfairness of life, because it is simply true that there is no inherent fairness in life and to wonder about it would serve no purpose. It is not pessimism that makes me say that, but rather realism. Our founding fathers acknowledged that “all men are created equal” and left it at that, because they knew that after a person is created, his or her perception of the fairness or unfairness of life is often determined by that individual.

This is not to say that there isn’t some inherent unfairness in life. There are some things individuals simply cannot overcome. A crippling disability, a tragic event, a devastating illness, a sudden death, or an economic catastrophy are all unfair situations that anyone may face. And while some people survive and some even thrive afterward, sadly, some do not.

Part of my preparation for the radio show was the publication of my great-uncle’s story of being a prisoner of war on Bataan and in doing so, I spent a lot of time reading his words. I noted when I originally wrote the story in 1985 that he often said, “I was lucky.” That comment struck me back then when I was 20 years old, but I failed to grasp the significance then. It would take 24 years, surviving a life-threatening illness and the loss of my step-daughter before I could read those words again and understand what he was really saying.

We live our lives insulated from the realities of life. We go to the store and buy our steaks and pork chops and chicken nuggets separated from much of the work that it takes to get the food to our tables. We click a button and bring the world into our homes instantly, and never think about our lives before the time when we could do such a thing. We decide to take a vacation and get into our cars, a train or a plane and go basically where ever we wish without a lot of thought about the days when such travel was beyond the realm of possibility. We are able to read books of our choosing, listen to music we like and watch movies we want to see. We are all lucky.

We are lucky that certain men and women woke up one day and decided to give more than their fair share. They stepped up to the plate and swung hard and hit a home run for all of us. They acknowledged the risks, took up their arms and marched into the gaping maw to fill the gap so the rest of us wouldn’t have to do it. The freedoms that I enjoy on this rainy Monday sitting in my comfortable, air-conditioned home, were paid for by the blood of thousands who were willing to do the hard things. It was a sobering moment when I heard my uncle say he was lucky, a moment that took many years to come back to me. For in his words I find the humility of a true military hero unwilling to take any credit for surviving one of the most difficult events anyone can survive. In his words, I realize that the ones who did not survive are still with him each and every day. In his words, I hear his acknowledgement of the unfairness of it all. And finally, in his words, I hear his thankfulness that God protected him and allowed him to return to the relative comfort of his life and the lives of all those he was prepared to die for.

The lives we live are insulated by the blood of men and women who did not return. And more than anything else, when he said, “I was lucky” I was really hearing him say “Thank you.” We believe in our comfort that we can change the world that somehow we can make it more fair when in reality all we can change is our reaction to the unfairness. Today, on this Memorial Day, we should react by remembering how unfair we are to only set aside one day to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our comfort.

I am lucky and so are you. No matter the situation, no matter how unfair life has been, we are all lucky. To the men and women of the United States Military, I say, “Thank You!” For without your courage, your strength, your committement, your dedication, and yes, your lives, how much more unfair would our lives be.

Everything Else Is Fluff

I’ve always heard that “if you enjoy your work, you’ll never work a day in your life.” Well, I enjoy what I do, in fact, I love my job. Helping people with their computer problems and solving what seem to be big crises in people’s lives helps fulfill my “hero complex.” Never heard of a hero complex? Well, probably not, since I made it up years ago to describe the feeling I get from helping someone recover an important file they think is gone forever, or getting a computer back up and working for a business just in the nick of time before they start losing a lot of money, or even helping an older person be able to send email messages to their grandkids. The Hero Complex is a probably a big part of why people do a lot of the things they do for work. The easy examples are doctors, policemen and firemen, but car mechanics, store managers, air conditioner technicians, janitors and even waiters and waitresses have told me that they have similar opportunities to be heroes in their jobs.  (more…)

Spots In My Eyes & Ringing in My Ears…

Sometimes life walks up and hands me a soapbox onto which I can’t help but climb. There are those who tell me that the number of soapboxes you find increases exponentially the older you get. But I really don’t think this particular issue is just me. In fact, I believe this is one of those few cases, where I am not alone in my frustration because deep down many of you out there agree with what I’m about to say. You haven’t said anything because your mama raised you to say nothing if you couldn’t say something good. Well, my mama will just have to get over it, because this ain’t pretty and I’m still going to say it. My apologies, Mom. (more…)

Ambassadors At Large

About fifteen years ago when I started my own business, I got the opportunity to write custom programs for clients of a company named Automatic Data Processing (ADP). ADP does a lot of different things including providing payroll-processing services to thousands of companies of all shapes and sizes across the world. Often, they run across a company that likes to color outside the lines and do things a little out of the ordinary and when they need some specialized programming or custom reporting that can’t be handled by the regular ADP computer system, I sometimes get the call to work as a third-party software consultant, which is just a fancy way of saying that I get to help the customer and ADP fit together better. (more…)

Katrina: The Making & Breaking of News

My wife and I have seen enough news reports about the devastation in Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana to reach a conclusion: we have a story to tell and now it the time to tell it. I’ve spent the better part of a week now dealing with the effects (however slight compared to others who are far worse off than my family) of this hurricane and I believe that we now have the right to say a few things about this storm and how it has affected our fellow human beings. (more…)

Mowing For Peace

Mowing grass has become my preferred way to relax. Some people think that mowing grass is a boring, tiring and sweat-laden chore, but I have come to see that mowing grass can be a great way to connect to life in a number of ways. (more…)